Aria's name was on TV this morning, because we're members of the PBS Kids Club (I gave them all 3 children's names when we signed up several months ago).
Kevin and I bought some party supplies and a cake at Target this morning. I made it through most of today just fine, as somehow it was reassuring to me to know that it was no longer her birthday in Vietnam. The day was already behind us over there.Then tonight, we went out to dinner in honor of her 1st birthday.
Back at home, we had a little birthday "celebration." I put that in quotes, because it wasn't very celebratory. Kevin was off in a different mode entirely... It did not work out according to plan. Even down to me lighting the candle and wanting to get a family picture, and Kevin blew out the candle first before I got my picture. sigh. By the time, we were set up to take a picture again, I barely wanted to do it - so yes, this is a fake smile. ;) In fact, after I served the cake, I started bawling. I realized that this was not what I wanted to be doing afterall. On Kevin's 1st birthday, I was glad to have planned a special celebration with cupcakes. But today, I felt differently. I know that someday, this will not matter so much. But for now, I'm just sad. So I really regretted the purchase of these little princess plates this morning with Kevin. And Steve repeatedly told me to not apologize and that I have the right to feel this way. Afterall, I have just missed my 2nd child's 1st birthday. The 3rd is coming up on Friday. Of course, I am able to look at the 3rd more positively, as we KNOW he will become our son in just a few more days!! :) In fact, we are celebrating by getting on an airplane!!! But I am glad that once again, we have documented in pictures that we at least attempted to celebrate our child's 1st birthday, despite the fact that she wasn't home with us yet.
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